The rise of the memorial tattoo
According to cable channel TLC, Miami Ink ranks as one of their hottest shows. I was looking for my other favorite cable show, Pimp My Ride, when I ran across an episode of Miami Ink. For those of you who do not have MI on your watchlist, the show is about a tattoo studio in Miami — hence the name, Miami Ink. Pretty clever.
Anyway, this episode featured not one, but two people who were having photos of their dead loved ones tattooed on their backs. A twenty-something-guy had his little sister’s photo tattooed in the middle of his back. She had died of cancer and looked to be about 11 years old. The other tattoo was on a young mother — a photo of her daughter, who had died at age four. Both tattoos were large and in color, and both tattoo artists did an amazing job.
When each tattoo was finished, the new "owner" looked at it tearfully, remarking how beautiful it was. Other family members had tears in their eyes, too. I was really moved that the families wanted to keep the memories of these little girls alive. Both thought a tattoo would be the most-enduring memorial to their loved one. I also have seen ‘memorials’ decaled in the rear windows of cars and pickups, witness to the memories of those who died too young and too soon.
My observation is that the people who remember others with tattoos and window decals would not feel comfortable in a typical church. Whether or not they would be welcomed in a typical church is something else to think about.
What does it say about our culture, when the most fitting memorial that young, working class adults can imagine is a tattoo or rear-window decal? How are we as churches, as Christians, failing this group in our culture? And, are we so put off by their attempt at remembering their loved ones that we dismiss it as an ethnic thing or a poor thing or an uneducated thing to do?
If church is the place where we make sense out of life and death for people, how have we missed a whole generation who turn to the tattoo artist rather than the pastor for comfort and consolation? Why don’t we have something for these young adults to do to keep these memories alive? Right now I have a lot of questions and not many answers. Any thoughts? – Amicus Dei
se of
Chuck,
If I may, please allow me to play devil’s advocate. I’m actually in the middle of writing a post for my own blog on something similar to this subject. In my post I sincerely question whether or not the roles of clergy as we define them today still serve the same purpose they once did. Think about it with me for just a second.
The role of deacon in most Baptist churches has evolved so far from what it was in the primitive model of the church I dare say we should still call it by the same name. The same is true for the title “pastor” in an ecclesiastical world where pastors are becoming almost as specialized as doctors.
We live in a culture that has redefined the relevance of the church. We recognize this to be true — were it not, we would not be having this discussion. In light of these things, I ask you; Why Should someone with a memorial tattoo seek a pastor to find consolation? Why is the pastor the answer to this person’s problems?
You’re asking this person in a new world, and new culture to seek out traditonal means of healing. Granted, the contents of the box – the gospel message – is same as it has been for a two thousand years, but let us not be naive and forget that old packaging does not convey the freshest product contained therein. Maybe it is time to be a different kind of pastor.
Tim
May 10, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Tim, I think we’re saying the same thing in different ways. No doubt the church is viewed differently — or viewed as irrelevant or inaccessible to many. But if church (Christians and their message) can’t give meaning to life and death better than the tattoo studio, we need to do some serious re-evaluation of who we are and what we’re doing. Thanks, as always, for your insight. — Chuck
Chuck Warnock
May 10, 2007 at 5:32 pm
chuck,
you have 2 tim’s reading your stuff???
i think your insights and questions on this are great. they’ve helped me make sense of some of the thoughts i’ve been having on the subject. but i would push you in the same place. along the lines of our D. Min. work – i don’t think it’s to the pastor these people need to be turning. that sets the pastor up as expert. it’s too the community.
i think this may what you meant. how do our communities become the kinds of communities that embrace these groups and allow them to process and place what they are going through? how do our communities welcome them and minister to them – without judgment and fear? but i was jarred when you said “why don’t they turn to the pastor?”
when we were putting together our small groups, one of the things i talked about was dispelling the “holy man” myth – that only the pastor could do ministry. i reminded folks that marriages were being saved and troubled kids were being helped and difficult life situations were being lived through with each other, long before the pastor became the “expert” to which everyone ran. and that small groups were designed to get people back to doing that again. hey – i can’t help someone deal with losing a parent because i’ve never been through that. but those people in our congregation that have been through it can. in the same way, i’ve found that the parents who have lost children in our congregation can come alongside other parents who lose children to help them process in ways i can’t even begin to touch.
so i think “why don’t they turn to the faith community?” is how i would put it. and i think you’re dead on the money when you imply that it is because the faith community has been judgmental of them.
haven’t heard from you in a while – but know you’ve been in my prayers. and i still check up on you from time to time!
peace!
tim from Fuller
Tim
May 17, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Tim #2, yes, I have two Tims visiting the blog! Amazing, isn’t it. And, of course, you are right on target with saying why don’t these tattooed folks turn to the faith community and not to the tattoo studio? That really was my point, or should have been anyway. Thanks for checking in and your comments! Chuck
Chuck Warnock
May 21, 2007 at 3:33 pm
To say how many tattoos did Jesus have is a bit ignorant. I think the last guy hit the nail on the head as far as that goes….he didn’t have a wife either. He didn’t really have many material things…so is it wrong to have material things?
Bud(Christian Tattoos)Abbott
January 16, 2008 at 9:14 am
I feel like this shouldn’t even be an issue. My question is this, do you believe that someone getting tattoos effects their salvation?
Bud(Christian Tattoos)Abbott
January 16, 2008 at 9:15 am
Personally, I’m not the tatoo sort of guy. Some will argue that a tatoo of Christ is a graven image naturally. If a person is truly a Christian and their life is spent honoring Christ, who am I to say their tatoo is wrong if through said tatoo brings the lost closer to Him?
Bud(Christian Tattoos)Abbott
January 16, 2008 at 9:30 am
Bud, I’m not following your references here. I don’t think anyone on this blog asked how many tattoos Jesus had or that Jesus did not have a wife. So, maybe your comments were meant for another blog. I have no problem with tattoos, although like you I don’t have any. The point of my post was that the church has failed a generation of young adults who have chosen to memorialize their loved ones with tattoos. I don’t think that in itself is a bad thing, but I just think we have missed an opportunity to provide care and comfort to them in their grief. Thanks for your comments.
Chuck
Chuck Warnock
January 16, 2008 at 10:20 am
Tattoos remained as a remembrance in the reminiscences of their brother.
joseph (Christian Tattoos) smith
January 19, 2008 at 11:20 am
Any memorial — tattoo, service, flowers, donations, keeping ashes in an urn, pictures, songs of remembrance,… [the list really does go on] can bring a sense of closure.
I am a devout disciple of Christ. In mid-December I lost my baby through miscarriage. I can’t accurately explain my loss to you. It’s beyond words. God comforted me in ways I also cannot explain — peace that truly does go beyond understanding. I sought ways to bring closure. I bought an ornament for our Christmas tree. I wrote on my blog [still do], I talked with others who had experienced this kind of loss, I cried, I prayed, I worshiped God in the face of it all. And, then, I got a Memorial Tattoo.
It is a way to hold on to something that has been ripped away from me.
Please realize that Christians [people in general] handle pain differently. For one to judge them based on some sort of social prejudice is wrong. That is a condition of the heart that God will deal with through His precious Spirit.
Don’t judge…
Accept
Heidi Reed
candidchatter
April 29, 2008 at 1:38 pm